Monday, September 6, 2010

Seeing Things Before They Are

In the time since that incident occurred, people were sending me messages, confronting me personally, and sending strange friends requests from people who pretended they hated me talking about they want to start anew. All of these people were digging for more information pretending that they were making general inquiries about general bullshit. All of their approaches were different, but the one thing they had in common is that they all said one thing or another that gave themselves away. The truth is, they all were being nosy and were picking me for information for several reasons, not to mention they thought that they were going to get some entertainment value out of me. Actually, one person did get entertainment value, more than that person bargained for and I knew the minute that person relayed what I said back to everyone else.

See, I may not have 2 or 3 college degrees, but I'm not stupid. I've studied the actions of people and the reasons behind their actions almost all of my adult life. I'm no longer a hustler, but when I was you learn not to trust what's on the surface and to always ask yourself why. This part never leaves your soul even when you do try to re-enter square society. Most times you see things three steps ahead of the time they actually happen. I knew exactly when a guy at my job was going to be reassigned -essentially demoted- after he told me what happened and the emails he sent me. He asked me why one of our superiors made a statement stating that she wasn't going to replace him on a project, but needed a side-by-side training with him. I reluctantly informed him that it was because he was going back to the call center. A week later, he called me and told me that they gave him a whole lot of song and dance earlier that day before reassigning him.

I also know when something's not quite right with women I'm dating. I often get myself in the doghouse regardless of whether or not I fucked her because I'm pretty harsh with my words and can't stand to be bullshitted. I tend to try to stay positive when I'm in the doghouse, but in doing so I'm also preparing for her to say, "no, I don't want to do this anymore." I see it coming each time, and this last time I saw it coming, I did the opposite of what I usually do and did everything I could to right the ship. For those of you wondering, I usually do nothing, but at the time I really liked this girl. And once my fate was sealed via text message, I tried to sway her and change her mind, but realized that there was nothing I could do because she was full of so much anger and hatred. Oh well, her ass was crazy. She ended up texting and calling back, but the damage had already been done in trying to ruin my reputation which failed miserably. See, the people who hold me in low regard because of this incident weren't going to buy my book or come to my parties anyway so I lost very little.

So although I see things before they happen most times based on what's presently going on, I've learned not to say anything and prepare for what's to happen before it actually happens. In this case of facebook gossip amongst high school alumni, I knew exactly what I needed to do to squash the bullshit that was going on and it wasn't going to be painless, but it was relatively easy since the people kicking the lies are so sensitive over what I say.

This is why I know that most of these motherfuckers out here talking about what they used to do, may have done it, but weren't very good at it because they were so shortsighted. All this shit comes in cycles, especially when you're used to dealing with people who are jealous of you or who are trying to deceive you all the time. That's why I question people who are always talking about how violent or how hard they used to be back in the day, and now they've done a total 180 and changed. I call them "used to be" niggas and bitches and while they've probably had a moment or two where they've done some foul shit that element really ain't in their heart. Yeah, I've mentioned that I was a gambler and a card hustler, but I don't hang my hat on what I used to be. That's a huge difference between me and them. Not to mention, when you're out there in that kind of criminal lifestyle surviving and thriving you learn to recognize the character of people and not to mention the actions of people and the reasons why. This one particular person who used to always talk about how bad they were back in the day never could recognize the kind of character I have or the kind of person I am. That person could only see the hurt and pain I inflicted. In this case, the past that this person was referring to wasn't really that person and that person squared the fuck up as soon as there appeared to be repercussions for those actions. A real criminal minded person is different. They gonna think "how do I get better at this" if or when they get caught.

Enough of my rambling.. just posting my thoughts.