Friday, February 5, 2010

Living Life with No Purpose

I'm starting to realize that my Thursdays are my Saturdays and my day to sleep in; otherwise it throws off my entire weekend. Selling books is not easy and getting people to believe in the movement isn't easy, either. Why do I continue to sell my own book and promote my show? Because its the only way for me. I can't afford to print a run of 50,000 books, hope they sell, and wait 90 days for a payment; I don't have time to call every bookstore across the nation to beg them to carry one or two of my books; and I don't have the money to do a 25 major city book signing tour. What keeps me going is that although my dreams are difficult, they're not impossible.

My purpose in life is to be a creative person who shares my talent with the world. Sounds corny? Maybe it is corny, but I'm not very good at anything else beyond that and gambling. Knowing this, I don't see the point in wasting my life away at anything that I don't have passion for, or the talent to succeed in. Life is too fucking short to be plodding through with no purpose --even if I live to be 120 years old. I must have a purpose in all that I do, otherwise I'm wasting my time. YOU MUST HAVE A PURPOSE IN ALL YOU DO, OTHERWISE YOU'RE WASTING YOUR TIME TOO!

I take this approach to everything, but the best example I can give is dating (since I seem to always be dating). Early last summer I was dating a woman, and I was quite smitten by her, so I attempted to start a relationship with her. She says to me that she's not ready for a relationship. I say something to the effect of "oh, I see, you want a platonic friend, eh." She says "no, I have enough male friends as it is. I don't want another platonic friend." I replied "then why are we talking. What am I to you?" She says, "you're my friend with a chance of becoming more with me?" I responded, "Wait a minute? You confront me because you thought I was on the phone with a skank or hoodrat a minute ago and now we're just friends? Why are we talking?" She responds, "I just don't wanna put labels on things unless I know I'm in love." I ask, "With that being said, what's our purpose?" She says, "I don't know right now, let's keep going out and get to know each other." I respond, "I really don't see the point considering that it seems as if we're dating with an aimlessly with no purpose in mind. Look, that would have been okay in high school, but I'm a grown man and I'm too old for that. We're not going to talk anymore." She was speechless, but come on! I cannot be approaching 30 with a let's just go out and have no purpose in what we're building towards, because in that case had I wasted any more time we would have been constructing a monument on nothingness. That's something that I refuse to waste my life doing.

Unfortunately, whether its in dating or anything else in life, far too many people waste time building monuments of nothingness as a foundation in life. This is a sad way to live life --not being happy, not being fulfilled, hoping, wishing and praying to hit the lottery or for some other miracle to happen. Why? Its for various reasons.. but most of those reasons are predicated on fear. Fear of getting hurt, fear of being rejected, fear of ridicule, etc. Furthermore, we all tend to waste time building these monuments of nothingness because when we're young, we tend to make the mistake of thinking that we're going to be young forever, that we have all the time in the world to accomplish this goal, to settle down, to make money, etc. then next thing you know, you wake up and you're 60 years old whose beauty had faded, wondering how time an life slipped by so fast. Let's stop this nonsense and let's start living, REALLY LIVING --with a purpose. Find your purpose in life and don't let anyone take it away from you.


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