Tuesday, November 10, 2009

She Gone! (I've Moved On)

There was a young lady that I was pretty smitten by recently and I thought for sure that she would become my wife sometime next year or no later than 2011, but a miscommunication led to some doubts which lead to disappointments on both ends which led us to not even speaking to each other anymore. I tried to give her a chance, Lord knows I did, but in the end she pushed me away. I could step up the effort to try to make it work, but the reality is that there's nothing there. There never was anything there substantial, and I knew that I should have kept walking when I walked away that night, but I looked back and you know what happens when you look back: you turn into a pillar of salt.

I think she's a great lady, but she's guarded, pessimistic, cynical and can't allow herself to let go and give herself to me; and I can't be in no relationship where I don't feel that I'm #1 in her life --not when I'm looking for marriage and a family. Heck, I'm not getting any younger and I truly cannot stand when women feel like they can waste time and bullshit time as if we're going to be on this earth forever. "Oh he can wait. He can wait for pussy. He can wait til I forgive him. He can wait until I've finally gotten over the baggage from my previous relationships. He can wait because although I know I love him and I know that I've walked him down the aisle 100s of times since our first date, he hasn't said the magic words. He's arrogant, he's egotistical, he says inappropriate things, and he hasn't said the right things." No, I can't fucking wait! I am who I am, albeit I have my own issues with cynicism, but I can't stand a woman who has lost her optimism.

However, that's what happens when you start dating for marriage. When I was pulling my dick out on women and wiggling it to them and saying "why wait, let's penetrate" I got a lot farther with women, but when we start having these serious conversations ranging from where we're going to live to sending our future babies to private school, all of a sudden I face more difficulties. I've come to the conclusion that these women have dealt with so many bums all their lives that they've become accustomed to settling for shit when they could have sugar instead. "We should send the babies to private school," I say. "For what? That's a waste of money she says. And I love the ghetto and don't want to move out because without me they have no one." See what I'm saying, these women don't fucking want shit for themselves but a shitty lifestyle. They can only see the present and can't and won't plan for tomorrow and these are so-called educated women that I've been dating.

No, they're too worried about how many women respond to my facebook status messages and how I respond to the ridiculous question "Glenn, have you ever cheated on anyone before?" Who the fuck cares? I've said this before, I've said it to her, and I'll say it again. Courtship does not fucking count for shit unless you two are engaged or married. If your man has not invested money in a ring and fellas, if you have not bought the woman a ring, you are not obligated to that woman and she's not obligated to you. Before engagement all you are doing is playing house, cuddling, sucking and fucking.

Despite how good it is to you and how you feel, it means shit unless the man has asked "will you marry me" and she responds "I do." Before that happens, you are single and he is single. I can not get mad over the woman going out to events without me or dating other people if we're not engaged. In fact, none of that shit's my business, just like any women I'm talking to when I first meet a woman is none of her fucking business unless I'm on one knee asking for your hand in marriage. Yes, it sounds harsh and cold, but we affix too many feelings and place too much importance on shit that doesn't even matter. "We've had 15 phone conversations and went out on several dates, he's my play husband and the same rules that apply to a real marriage apply now." FUCK YOU! That's what the courts are going to say if you try to divide any kind of monies or assets with me because "we aren't married and we are not legally obligated to each other."

So how do you know when the other person's right for you? Well, after you've asked the hard questions about lifestyle, managing money, careers, and child-rearing you still have a warm and fuzzy feeling about her and you feel that she's the one AFTER she's answered your questions to your liking about real shit, and you love her on top of that, then its time to get married. Black women are not ready for marriage, they're only ready for boos and bullshit while basing their relationships on monuments of nothingness.