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Tuesday, September 22, 2009

A Tiger in the Back of the Truck!

I got this coworker at my temporary job who says the most ignorant things and tells the craziest stories. To get a better idea of how he acts, let's just say that every black person's first name to him is nigga. This guy is a true 'bama, but nevertheless he's such a fool that I don't even want to beat his ass when he says some out of pocket shit to me. I just keep reminding him that the NAACP buried the word nigger (includes nigga) two years ago.

Like I said, he tells the craziest fucking stories and I'm going to create a character based on him in one of my future books. Near lunch time he starts telling us this story about one of the drug kingpins on the west side of Chicago. He says, "nigga, I saw the craziest shit on Madison and Independence! The muthafuckin' dope dealer was riding around in his truck with a black and white tiger hangin' out the back growling at people. Muthafuckas was scared than a motherfucka. That nigga just kept growling and I said got damn, it that ain't a motherfuckin' tiger!" The story made no fucking sense, and we all were in stiches.

A few moments later he tells us about the Lion that roams on the side of the road in Ohio. The locals told him "yeah, that's where he roams." "They had to pull the teeth out that nigga!" At this point, I totally lost it! I thought I was going to bust a gut laughing so hard.

Man, this is so ridiculous that I can't make this shit up.